Insecure?

Insecurity...what a tricky, nasty struggle we all have and we all wish we didn't.  I've been doing a study on insecurity this summer and have been surprised to find ways this problem rears its ugly head in my own life.  I tend to pride myself in being a strong, competent, accomplished woman.  But when it comes to parenting?  Sometimes insecure.  What about running a home? Often insecure.  Body image? Occasionally insecure.  Being a kind ex-wife? Flat-out insecure.  Dating again? Uhhh. In-sec-ure.  All women have ways insecurities bubble up inside them, and we all have triggers that cause them to spew out.  While I wish I could report doing a study on insecurity has solved any lack of confidence in ALL situations, I have found some things that have helped me and the other women in my group.  And I'm getting better.  Maybe even close to 60% confident and secure.  :)

These are some thoughts, tidbits, and quotes I've found helpful from Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity:

-Men want women to get a grip and don't like the pressure of being in charge of our sense of value, (p. 8)
-"Are we honestly going to insist on drawing our security from people- men or women- who are oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us?" (p. 9) Don't hand over power to people.
-Are your insecurities substantial enough to hurt, limit, or even distract you from effectiveness or fulfillment of purpose? (p. 15)  Are they cheating you out of being fully alive?

Definition of Insecurity:
Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt- a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships.  The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.  (p. 17)

-Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism.  (p. 19) This is where the 60/40 rule can help! (see below post)
-Insecurity can also be disguised as peace-making, intensity, not enjoying relationships, anger, fear of loss, and laziness.

It was profound for me to figure out that insecurity doesn't have to look like needy little eating disordered women who are too shy to go on a date or look another woman in the eye.  It can come out in many ways!  Keep reading this blog or schedule a time with me to figure out how to kick insecurity out of your life and become more fully alive!