Being Kind to Yourself

I've been speaking at various groups lately about the idea of self care.  Are you kind to yourself?  Do you know what being kind to yourself looks like?  When I went to counseling for 2 years several years ago my therapist always told me to be nice to myself.  As nice to myself as I was to others.  What does that even mean?

While I was in counseling I went through the process of defining what self care looks like to ME.  I would encourage you to explore this idea for YOU.  Get away from distractions (kids, home, work, for some noise, etc) and think about a time in your life when you were most happy.  For me that time was working at a backpacking camp in the summers in college.  Ask yourself what were the components of that time?  In my scenario it was being outside, deep relationships with people, faith, intellect, exercise, creativity, and music.  Those are the components that make me happy and come alive.  Maybe your scenario is at the beach or in high school or right after getting married.  Write down your components.

When I start to feel drained I think about which of the above components might be missing for me and start adding them back in to my life weekly.  I am taking care of myself when I am outside at least 30 minutes a day, when I surround myself with interesting, healthy relationships with others, when I go to church or seek spiritual things, when I exercise nearly every day, when I am creative- through writing, a special date with my kids, art, or a project of some sort, when I am reading, and when I either listen to music often or go hear a band play or sing in church.  I have to have these components in my life in order to be a mom, a therapist, daughter, sister, friend, etc.  They are a priority to me.

So feeling drained?  What's missing?  How could you go be kind to yourself right now?  Maybe your components are reading novels, or going out on the town, or cooking, or trying a new restaurant, or sex, or taking bubble baths, or hiking, or going to the lake, or looking at the stars, or building something, or gardening.  Figure out what you need and add it back in to your life! Put it in your calendar and be kind to yourself!